Death Café
History
First time attendees often wonder about the origin of the name, Death Café. The concept of a death and dying discussion group that was not intended to be a grief support group was the brainchild of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz who proposed the name Café Mortel, which became Death Café in English. Crettaz envisioned a gathering of open-minded individuals not afraid to discuss the taboo topics of death and dying. The meeting, he proposed, would be accompanied by an offering of tea and cake to create a welcoming atmosphere. The group first met in 2004 in Neuchâtel, Switzerland. After Prof. Crettaz’s death, the program was continued in England by Buddhist Jon Underwood and his family in 2011. It grew to become a worldwide movement with a website packed with useful information (www.deathcafe.com) including schedules of local meetings in person and online.
History in Rossmoor
In the fall of 2017 Rossmoor resident, president of the End of Life Concerns Club, and critical care nurse Rita Flores Bogaert was inspired to create a discussion group about death and dying. In the ICU she witnessed a variety of dramatic family crises that often seemed to surround a patient’s dying. She thought if perhaps patients and their families had had an opportunity to think about and discuss what goes on before, during, and after the death they would be better able to cope when the time came. She imagined Rossmoor residents might have an interest in expressing their thoughts and feelings in a discussion group. This could include such topics as advance care planning, the aging process, and how to lay the groundwork for a good death. Having become aware of the existence of such a discussion group that was ongoing in nearby Oakland called the Death Café, she imagined that a similar activity could be offered here.
How is our Death Cafe different from other meetings
What made Rossmoor’s version of a death café unique was that its attendees were all in the phase of life UCSF’s gerontology Professor Louise Aronson calls Elderhood. As members of a 55 and over community Rossmoor residents were closer to the reality of late life aging and health issues than those in the diverse age groups who attended death cafes in the community at large. Rossmoor’s first Death Café meeting took place at the end of November seven years ago and continued until the Covid pandemic when all club meetings went on hiatus. Because of the personal and intimate nature of some of the discussion topics, it was decided not to continue our Death Café meeting over Zoom. Fortunately, as activities at Rossmoor began to ramp up two years ago, the monthly Death Café meetings resumed (second Friday of the month), now facilitated by Bess Chosak, a retired hospice nurse, and Jim Greenberg, a retired physician.
Process of meetings
Participants gather in a circle. Chairs can be added or taken away depending on how many people attend. Facilitators give an introduction which is usually followed by a poem and a brief period of silence. After this, participants may offer thoughts on any relevant topic.
Meeting time(s) and place(s)
Second Friday of each month
Vista Room, Hillside Clubhouse
3:30 - 5 PM
Facilitator’s email
Jim Greenberg ([email protected])
Bess Chosak ([email protected])
First time attendees often wonder about the origin of the name, Death Café. The concept of a death and dying discussion group that was not intended to be a grief support group was the brainchild of Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz who proposed the name Café Mortel, which became Death Café in English. Crettaz envisioned a gathering of open-minded individuals not afraid to discuss the taboo topics of death and dying. The meeting, he proposed, would be accompanied by an offering of tea and cake to create a welcoming atmosphere. The group first met in 2004 in Neuchâtel, Switzerland. After Prof. Crettaz’s death, the program was continued in England by Buddhist Jon Underwood and his family in 2011. It grew to become a worldwide movement with a website packed with useful information (www.deathcafe.com) including schedules of local meetings in person and online.
History in Rossmoor
In the fall of 2017 Rossmoor resident, president of the End of Life Concerns Club, and critical care nurse Rita Flores Bogaert was inspired to create a discussion group about death and dying. In the ICU she witnessed a variety of dramatic family crises that often seemed to surround a patient’s dying. She thought if perhaps patients and their families had had an opportunity to think about and discuss what goes on before, during, and after the death they would be better able to cope when the time came. She imagined Rossmoor residents might have an interest in expressing their thoughts and feelings in a discussion group. This could include such topics as advance care planning, the aging process, and how to lay the groundwork for a good death. Having become aware of the existence of such a discussion group that was ongoing in nearby Oakland called the Death Café, she imagined that a similar activity could be offered here.
How is our Death Cafe different from other meetings
What made Rossmoor’s version of a death café unique was that its attendees were all in the phase of life UCSF’s gerontology Professor Louise Aronson calls Elderhood. As members of a 55 and over community Rossmoor residents were closer to the reality of late life aging and health issues than those in the diverse age groups who attended death cafes in the community at large. Rossmoor’s first Death Café meeting took place at the end of November seven years ago and continued until the Covid pandemic when all club meetings went on hiatus. Because of the personal and intimate nature of some of the discussion topics, it was decided not to continue our Death Café meeting over Zoom. Fortunately, as activities at Rossmoor began to ramp up two years ago, the monthly Death Café meetings resumed (second Friday of the month), now facilitated by Bess Chosak, a retired hospice nurse, and Jim Greenberg, a retired physician.
Process of meetings
Participants gather in a circle. Chairs can be added or taken away depending on how many people attend. Facilitators give an introduction which is usually followed by a poem and a brief period of silence. After this, participants may offer thoughts on any relevant topic.
Meeting time(s) and place(s)
Second Friday of each month
Vista Room, Hillside Clubhouse
3:30 - 5 PM
Facilitator’s email
Jim Greenberg ([email protected])
Bess Chosak ([email protected])